...who hates goodbyes so much that it makes my stomach hurt and my eyes in a state of constant wellingness (yes, probably not a word, I know, but it fits). It started yesterday...the countdown in my head until we leave early Wednesday a.m. to get Emma to Chicago. She'll ride the rest of the way to Butler with Alli and Milly...heading back so they can leave on Thursday for their training trip in Florida. Christmas vacation at home is over. The holidays are almost over and I have myself in such a state of saddness.
I've been like this my whole life. I hate change. I hate good-byes. I hate being left. And hate is not too strong of a word, but it's actually more like dread and feeling so sad.
Leaving her at Butler in August was hard, but we adjusted and planned for the fall visits and upcoming holidays...so much to look forward to. It's different now. First of all is freezing outside, snow is everywhere and my house is full of Christmas decor that needs to come down. It was so much fun this fall planning for her fall break, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Secondly, there are no breaks for her to come home this semester...January and February are FULL of meets for both her and Peter...and they conflict with eachother. She is going to spring break in Florida (fun!). I've been looking at the weekends and it's going to be hard to see her. The next time will most likely be at her big championship meet in Ohio at the end of February (a week after Peter's state meet)...7+ weeks from now.
Anyway, I feel just like I did 2nd semester of my freshman year...just sad. I know I will snap out of it, but not right now. Probably not this week. You will know EXACTLY how I feel next year...it is an overwhelming sense of pain and pride. You won't believe how much you miss Evan. It's actually pain-full.
Peter and Emma are snuggled on the sofa right now watching this epic battle of the Packers v the Vikings (!). I want to keep them HERE. I am so grateful for Peter, but already feel heart palpitations about him leaving the nest.
Seriously, what is wrong with me? Are other moms feeling like this and just don't talk about it??!
Please call me on Wed, Thurs, Fri.....xoxo, H.
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