endless possibilities...



Why am I the one...

...who hates goodbyes so much that it makes my stomach hurt and my eyes in a state of constant wellingness (yes, probably not a word, I know, but it fits).  It started yesterday...the countdown in my head until we leave early Wednesday a.m. to get Emma to Chicago.  She'll ride the rest of the way to Butler with Alli and Milly...heading back so they can leave on Thursday for their training trip in Florida.  Christmas vacation at home is over.  The holidays are almost over and I have myself in such a state of saddness.

I've been like this my whole life.  I hate change.  I hate good-byes.  I hate being left.  And hate is not too strong of a word, but it's actually more like dread and feeling so sad.

Leaving her at Butler in August was hard, but we adjusted and planned for the fall visits and upcoming holidays...so much to look forward to.  It's different now.  First of all is freezing outside, snow is everywhere and my house is full of Christmas decor that needs to come down.  It was so much fun this fall planning for her fall break, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 Secondly, there are no breaks for her to come home this semester...January and February are FULL of meets for both her and Peter...and they conflict with eachother.  She is going to spring break in Florida (fun!).   I've been looking at the weekends and it's going to be hard to see her.  The next time will most likely be at her big championship meet in Ohio at the end of February (a week after Peter's state meet)...7+ weeks from now.

Anyway, I feel just like I did 2nd semester of my freshman year...just sad.  I know I will snap out of it, but not right now.  Probably not this week.  You will know EXACTLY how I feel next year...it is an overwhelming sense of pain and pride.  You won't believe how much you miss Evan.  It's actually pain-full.

Peter and Emma are snuggled on the sofa right now watching this epic battle of the Packers v the Vikings (!).  I want to keep them HERE.  I am so grateful for Peter, but already feel heart palpitations about him leaving the nest. 

Seriously, what is wrong with me?  Are other moms feeling like this and just don't talk about it??!

Please call me on Wed, Thurs, Fri.....xoxo, H.

Pinterest...

FINALLY played with it a bit last night.  Oh what a time sucker!!!  H.

grrrr...

...treadmill update:  treadmill fixer guy has been here over an hour.  Came down and said "it's not the motor belt"...THE PART THAT I WAS TOLD TO ORDER ONLINE AFTER THE LAST NOT-FIXER GUY WAS HERE.....this is me SCREAMING!  I took a deep breath and told him that I was starting to lose my patience.  He looked at me and said, "I'll fix it...don't worry."  That was 45 min ago.  H.

thank gawd.....

the treadmill fixer guy is right this very instant upstairs fixing our treadmill.  Suffice it to say, this has been a beyond frustrating task to come to fruition...and now, hopefully (!) a working treadmill.  Tsk tsk, I shouldn't say it because he has not walked down saying "all fixed."  He did just ask me if I had the user's manual (wtf...I normally wouldn't write that here, but that is the only phrase that works).  NOT a good sign.  Supposedly it's a "simple fix...just the motor belt."  I won't go into the details again, but it took a call to the Utah CEO's office of this stupid company to get us to this day....and to get $235 taken off the credit card (for a lousy $15 part...$17 for s/h and "we'll get it to you in 7-10 days").  I could drive to Utah and back to pick up the part in less time than that!!

I've eaten so much over the past week that I look 6 months pregnant....carb overload.  I blame the Pioneer Woman...her decadent rum cake and her YUMMY vintage, bacon appetizers...so good!  I also blame Trader Joe's...endless goodies this time of year...cranberry/walnut bread, cheese fondue, dips and endless yummy sweets.  I'll try to blame you too...the bacon dip you left here....it literally calls to me as I pass the refrigerator, "Heidi, please grab those triscuits and meet me back here in 30 seconds...I am so good!"

SO, this damn treadmill better be working by sundown.  I am feeling doughy.  George's short, old man walks have done nothing for me but filled my lungs with fresh air, kissed my cheeks with sun (since he must smell everything, I turn my face to the sun until he is ready to move on) and have contributed to a good sense of peace. 

I need my treadmill.  My whole body needs it.  An hour/day.

xoxo, H.

new years salad....

Sissy, you can make this salad with the leftover pomegranate seeds and juice...doesn't it look so good!!
 love, k


Ingredients
For the Salad:
9 ounces mixed greens
1 pear, sliced
½ cup pitted and sliced Medjool dates
¼ cups pomegranate seeds
½ cups coarsely chopped walnuts
½cups dried cranberries
3 ounces goat cheese, crumbled

For the Pomegranate Vinaigrette:
½ cup pomegranate juice
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1-2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon date honey (substitute regular honey)
½ cup extra virgin olive oil

Directions
For the Salad:
Put all the ingredients in a salad bowl.
Toss with pomegranate vinaigrette (recipe below) or serve on the side.
For the Pomegranate Vinaigrette:
Combine all the ingredients in a food processor, or vigorously whisk together by hand.
Taste and adjust as necessary.

a toast

A toast to a great Christmas....and to a wonderful 2013! love, k

thank you matha

I mean Heidi....ha! It's like going to Martha's for Christmas....simply perfect! Thank you for a woonderful Christmas!! From the delicious food, to the beautiful decorations, to the warm hospitality. This is what Christmas is all about....the 4 of these faces together...so happy, so precious. love, k

Merry Christmas!

our 500th post...

stars...

Starting a new collection...STARS!  I think they are the essence of Christmas...it was all about following the star on our very first Christmas.  I want to fill the mantle!  Two sleeps, Sistah!
xoxo, H.

SNOW day on December 20th...

We are ready!!!

Sitting at the table, after 3-times-out-so-far-helping-with-the-shoveling, going over my lists.  We are truly SNOWED IN today.  Will post some pics later.  Over a foot of snow, wet and hard to shovel/plow snow, and it's still coming.  This afternoon is supposed to get cold and turn blizzard like with high winds.  We've already got two, big branches down in the front yard (so grateful nothing has hit the house).  The mayor was on t.v. a bit ago warning about power outages and falling trees....so we are charging all phones, laptops, etc. and I've filled several pitchers of water and getting caught up on laundry.

THANK GOD I am not driving to Indy this week to get Emma...we're all safe and sound in our warm house today. 

Still need to tackle the final menu/recipes/shoppping lists for Christmas Eve Day!!!  A few more Christmas gifts to buy, but almost done.  Need some more stocking items as well...

So, the world may end on our wedding anniversary tomorrow (21 years on the 21st of December!)...if so, "it's been a good run" (Jeremy Green quote)...ha!  We are doing our traditional Melting Pot dinner with our Emma and Peter to celebrate!  It's many courses...cheese fondue, salad, main course fondues, dessert fondue...and it's very condusive to good conversation.  I just need to remember to make sure all cell phones, etc are left in the car!!!

We can't wait to have you HERE!!!  The tree is surrounded by oodles of gifts and the house is filling up with yummy goodies.  So sad Mom and Dad won't be here BUT glad you all will be with them on the 26th - yay!!  Unfortunately, with it being the middle of boys swim season, we are homebound.  Things change so much with h.s. and college schedules...good and bad!  I feel like the minutes are just ticking by (loundly) until Emma leaves on the 2nd.  It's too quick for a Christmas break, but she is ridiculously happy with her Butler life and swim team and I am so grateful that she is excited for every new opportunity that passes her way.  Evan will be the same way - out there embracing life!!!!  Can't wait to hear where he chooses to go...I hope he goes away.  It is such a great experience for them to escape their "life" at home...and to move...to experience a new place, etc.  I just hope CA is not a top choice...THAT is too far!

Ok, back to my lists....and then another round of shoveling...xoxo, H.

its almost here!

Start ringing those jingle bells, because Christmas is almost here!! We can't wait. I hope you are surviving your blizzard! Peter says the darnest things...he is such a sweetheart! love, k

I love this kid...

"Mom, I can't wait for the blizzard to hit...it will be so much fun to watch and it's even better because Emma is home with us."  - Peter Green, best little brother in the world

xoxo, H.

B L I Z Z A R D ...

is on it's way!!!  YAY!  Going out to finish Christmas shopping and get more salt today!  H. 

p.s. roads should be clear for your arrival on Monday :)

tragedy

It seems appropriate today that you are going to get Emma to give her a hug and kiss and bring her home. I am so sad about all of those little kids who died today in CT. It is simply a tragedy. Love and hold your kids and don't let them go.  love, k

thanks Mom and Dad!

I am soooo excited to pick up Emma and bring her home for Christmas...trying to make it super special for her...and Krista and I learned from the masters!  Coming home at college was so great for me...the house was beautiful, the food was stocked and you two were so happy to have us home.  It's the best feeling!  Dad, I am missing this album...one of our favorites!  xoxo, H.

flashback Knutson Christmas card...circa '09!

I like bows...

a little...

Yes, I agree - a bit sad that we will never see this again, BUT we did see it!  Our kids might and our grandkids hopefully will live long, healthy lives.  Reflective, yes!  I think we covered that yesterday on our actual dishing phone call (if we could just post our daily phone calls!!)...

Midlife is a weird concept, but I do believe we're smack in the middle of that (if not a bit past!) and it does raise a lot of questions on how to live the rest of our lives.  With Peter leaving in 1 1/2 years (don't get me started on that!!!), it will definitely be a new chapter.  However, as we see with Emma, they are still kids, still need our help and money, still come home and still need guidance.  I have visions of Chris and me traveling like crazy.  I think we will be but it will be to Butler and to more of Emma's meets and to wherever Peter is...I am looking forward to that.  I think many more Notre Dame football games are in my future as well...

I have a feeling Chris and I will focus on the house...re-doing some things, bringing everything up to snuff, gardening.  We will also focus on our health and fitness...no excuses. 

As with everything in life, it's all a bit bittersweet.  That comes with change.  Our recent emails with Kara have reminded me what a great childhood we had...not without bumps, but fun and special.  I don't like being without grandparents.  I think they are a great safety net.  Throughout the last years of their lives, I remember calling them out of the blue, and no matter what I was stressed about or sad about. I always felt better after speaking with them.  I miss being able to do that. 

Onto Christmas!!!!  We're getting so excited for your visit!!! 

I am driving to Indianapolis tomorrow....taking Emma, Kate, Adri, and whoever else has one of the last finals on Saturday, out to dinner tomorrow night then enjoying a nice, new hotel in Keystone, shopping for a few things at the Butler bookstore and then bringing her HOME!  Peter is so excited to have her home, going to his practices and hanging out with his Sissy.

All really good things in life right now.  And that's all we can ask for!  xoxo, H.

12.12.12

                         

Does this date make you sad sissy....last repetitive date we will ever see. It doesn't make me sad, but sort of reflective. I think it is awesome still that we got to see the start of a new century...so this is pretty cool! I should do something special today...not sure what yet...love, k

this we can disagree on.....

                


I am not a snow person anymore! This snow today almost made me depressed. I really don't know why I still live here. Nothing about the snow is appealing to me anymore. Yes, it looks pretty, but it is such a pain. You have to drive like 5 miles an hour. You have to shovel. You have to wear boots. I am just not a fan!!! love, k

It's beginning...

to look a lot like Christmas...FINALLY!  This is what the garden looks like right now.  H.

Didn't Grandma Veronica make these?? YUM...

I love Susan Branch...

my favorite mouse...

 

Happy to report that the decaying mouse smell in my wall is finally subsiding.  No more kleenex stuffed in my nose while I sit at my laptop.  THAT being said, I am hoping it wasn't Santa Mouse...pretty sure it wasn't since he travels with Santa.  This is my all time favorite Christmas book!  Inside the cover of mine it says (Dad wrote it),

 

This book belongs to:

Heidi Sondra Knutson

 

To Heidi from Mommy and Daddy

Christmas 1967

 

Peter & Emma loved this book when they were little too. 
There are cookie smudges and wrinkled pages.  I love it!
 "So here's your beard and here's your suit and here's each shiny, tiny boot."



love actually

I agree - I LOVE The Holiday...I also LOVE Love Actually...another "kind of" Christmas movie.

It's hard to feel "christmasy" when it's been 60 degrees outside~we don't even have the heat on and it's 67 in the house.  Odd/icky.  Time for snow!

Peter has his first meet of the season tonight...excited to see him swim!  xoxo, H

love this movie

                          

I love the movie The Holiday. It's not exactly Christmas, but I love it! It's one of those movies, mostly because I have it on DVD, I can watch over and over. Cameron and Kate are so cute in it! It's just a cute movie!! love, k

kate is preggers!!

                               

She will be the cutest pregnant girl ever! Love that Kate! love, k