lump in my throat....

It started last week.

Now that it's two weeks until Emma goes back to Butler, the countdown is on.  So much to do!  We did a major Target shop this week, shopping last week in Chicago and today we're hitting The Gap for her favorite jeans.

After we got home from Target, I felt the lump in my throat while I was unpacking her supplies, but I brushed it aside.  But last night when Chris and I were sitting on the porch, it caught up with me when I asked him if he's going to miss Emma and he quietly said "yes."  Oh boy, the waterworks started!  Based on last year, and just how I generally "operate," I will be bursting into tears on and off for the next three weeks.  It will be in private until right at the end and then I tell everyone to just ignore it.

It's not because I'm sad.  It's certainly not because I'm happy, but somewhere in the middle and just because I am her Mom.  We've had a wonderful summer.  Very uneventful.  Just EASY...cooking, shopping, watching movies, walking George, hanging out on the porch, little trips, nice dinners out, nice dinners in and just all of us being together.  Not a cross word has been uttered.  We've just enjoyed this summer.  Missing was swim meets and baseball games, but we adjusted.

With me working 3 days/week and Peter and Emma both working a lot (and Chris of course!), we were all just happy to get home at the end of the day and relax.  Emma was up most mornings at 5 to swim before she headed to the Jensen's house down the block.  I was up tending to the menagerie and garden.  Chris and Peter drove to work together every day...

Emma has saved her $ for spending during the year (high five!), but she's also allowed herself some spending money for clothes, make up, jewelry and crafts.  She has made some adorable purchases...all very "Emma"...a gorgeous sapphire blue dress, adorable tops, nice make up and very classic, preppy pieces.

Peter has saved every penny he's made this summer, and I mean EVERY penny!  He is looking for a used pick up truck and the money is burning a hole in his pocket!  He is so excited!!!  When he finds his big purchase, that will be the end of Chris driving he/them to school EVERY DAY for 14 years.  He is going to miss that.  So will Peter.

And I can't even get started on Peter's SENIOR year...can't go there yet and certainly can't let myself think about life as empty nesters (believe me, I know we'll adjust and enjoy the new lifestyle...). 

SO, going to help get Emma organized and ready for her sophomore year in college.  She is SO HAPPY there that it makes it very hard to be sad (kind of dumb actually!) and going to savor every minute of Peter's senior year.  He recently paid Chris and me an great compliment and I will never forget it (thank you Buddy).

ALSO, going to focus on the "next time" we'll be in Indy for her meet in Sept, probably in Oct. and then all of us in FLORIDA for Thanksgiving.  Focusing on Peter's applications and fun outings with him.  Last year, the three of us focused on being busy and it was great.  A living room re-vamp is in the works (Chris does not get that big ass t.v. without a new paint job and possibly new carpet, although the carpet may have to wait)  I have a trip to DC planned for work in Septemer.  A lot to look forward to!  Having things to "look forward to" is very comforting.

I am thinking it's mostly tears of happiness.  As Grandma Bea, always requested, "no good-byes, only so-longs!

I am sure you are going through all of the same bittersweet feelings with Evan moving out.  Even though he is just minutes away, he is still not in your house.  THAT is what you'll miss.

xoxo, H.